I don't think I'm going to make it. I think I'm going to fail again.
I wish I could do something right. I wish I didn't fail at everything I did.
What do I do?
Friday, June 17, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Batgirl
Well...it's official. Barbara Gordon is back in the cowl as Batgirl, for the first time in over twenty years, presumably replacing replacing current Batgirl, Stephanie Brown. Heaven only knows what's going to happen to Steph and her new partner-in-crimefighting, Proxy (aka Wendy), as well as previous Batgirl, Cassandra Cain, who's only just come back in the pages of Batman Inc. as Blackbat, Batman's representative in Hong Kong.
I guess Cass could stick around as Blackbat while Steph goes back to her old Spoiler identity, but...I don't know. It just makes me heartsick losing my favorite Batgirl and having both her and my second-favorite Batgirl demoted in importance, all in the name of bringing back the "iconic" Batgirl, who had already moved on and created an identity of her own -- Oracle.
Which brings me to my next point on why I don't like this: the erasure of Oracle. The conditions under which Babs began her road to eventual Oracle-hood were, frankly, horrible -- shot and paralyzed by the Joker, turned into a victim and humiliated, but only as a way of proving a point to Commissioner Gordon. The Killing Joke was all about how that event affected Gordon and Batman, with no thought given to Barbara in the story.
Like I said, horrible.
But after that event, Kim Yale and John Ostrander gave her a new life and turned her into the mysterious Oracle, who fought not with punches and kicks, but with technology and her own intelligence. The debate is ongoing on whether or not it is reasonable for Babs to still be wheelchair-bound (powerful symbol of a differently-abled heroine vs. logic fail in a world full of Green Lantern rings and Cyborg's tech and Bruce and Damien recovering from their respective broken backs?) and whether Babs is the most effective Oracle she can be these days. Still, whatever position you take, you must admit, she has come a long way from being Batgirl. As Batgirl, she was just another caped hero operating in Gotham City. As Oracle, though, she was a unique figure, using technology and information to fight and help others fight, among whom are several girls who have carried on, in some form or another, the legacy she once held - Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Wendy Harris, and Charlie Gage-Radcliffe (aka Misfit).
And now they're sending her right back.
And what makes even less sense? Kate Kane is confirmed to be sticking around in the new...continuity, I guess...as Batwoman. Hilariously, one of the reasons why Cassandra Cain's Batgirl ongoing was cancelled years ago was that they were thinking of bringing the then-new Batwoman aboard and thought that having two female Bat-themed character would be too confusing.
They thought readers (what readers? The elusive new readers that everyone's so obsessed with?) would be confused between a dark-haired, biracial, Asian-looking girl in a black suit with a gold bat-outline symbol and a red-haired, Caucasian adult lesbian woman in a black and red costume. But now we're about to have two red-haired white women wearing the Bat-symbol and apparently that's not confusing at all.
I have to laugh at that or I would cry at teh stupid. Seriously, I don't think even Gail Simone can save this for me. :/
And because when it rains it pours, I'm not really impressed by what they've got planned for Birds of Prey, thus possibly nixing my only two purchases from DC. I'm tentatively curious about Firestorm's post-Flashpoint ongoing (funny, since I can only barely remember that the character exists most days), but otherwise? It looks like it might be that you and me are fucking done professionally, DC.
I guess Cass could stick around as Blackbat while Steph goes back to her old Spoiler identity, but...I don't know. It just makes me heartsick losing my favorite Batgirl and having both her and my second-favorite Batgirl demoted in importance, all in the name of bringing back the "iconic" Batgirl, who had already moved on and created an identity of her own -- Oracle.
Which brings me to my next point on why I don't like this: the erasure of Oracle. The conditions under which Babs began her road to eventual Oracle-hood were, frankly, horrible -- shot and paralyzed by the Joker, turned into a victim and humiliated, but only as a way of proving a point to Commissioner Gordon. The Killing Joke was all about how that event affected Gordon and Batman, with no thought given to Barbara in the story.
Like I said, horrible.
But after that event, Kim Yale and John Ostrander gave her a new life and turned her into the mysterious Oracle, who fought not with punches and kicks, but with technology and her own intelligence. The debate is ongoing on whether or not it is reasonable for Babs to still be wheelchair-bound (powerful symbol of a differently-abled heroine vs. logic fail in a world full of Green Lantern rings and Cyborg's tech and Bruce and Damien recovering from their respective broken backs?) and whether Babs is the most effective Oracle she can be these days. Still, whatever position you take, you must admit, she has come a long way from being Batgirl. As Batgirl, she was just another caped hero operating in Gotham City. As Oracle, though, she was a unique figure, using technology and information to fight and help others fight, among whom are several girls who have carried on, in some form or another, the legacy she once held - Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Wendy Harris, and Charlie Gage-Radcliffe (aka Misfit).
And now they're sending her right back.
And what makes even less sense? Kate Kane is confirmed to be sticking around in the new...continuity, I guess...as Batwoman. Hilariously, one of the reasons why Cassandra Cain's Batgirl ongoing was cancelled years ago was that they were thinking of bringing the then-new Batwoman aboard and thought that having two female Bat-themed character would be too confusing.
They thought readers (what readers? The elusive new readers that everyone's so obsessed with?) would be confused between a dark-haired, biracial, Asian-looking girl in a black suit with a gold bat-outline symbol and a red-haired, Caucasian adult lesbian woman in a black and red costume. But now we're about to have two red-haired white women wearing the Bat-symbol and apparently that's not confusing at all.
I have to laugh at that or I would cry at teh stupid. Seriously, I don't think even Gail Simone can save this for me. :/
And because when it rains it pours, I'm not really impressed by what they've got planned for Birds of Prey, thus possibly nixing my only two purchases from DC. I'm tentatively curious about Firestorm's post-Flashpoint ongoing (funny, since I can only barely remember that the character exists most days), but otherwise? It looks like it might be that you and me are fucking done professionally, DC.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
It's Always Something, Isn't It?
Why won't he ever be happy for me or proud of anything I do? Everyone else is. Even if it isn't much, everyone else is happy that I'm making the first steps...but not him. Never him. Nothing makes him happy. If I do what he wants this time, it will just be something else that he feels that I'm not doing that isn't making him proud.
In the end, why do you care more about what they think than what I personally want for my life? It's sad how many things that statement can apply to.
i feel sick.
In the end, why do you care more about what they think than what I personally want for my life? It's sad how many things that statement can apply to.
i feel sick.
Comics Rant
I mentioned having comic book collecting as an eccentric hobby, but I don't know how long that will last.
DC comics is planning on doing this thing after this year's summer crossover, Flashpoint, where there will be changes made along the line to various titles and characters; I'm not sure whether this will be a hard reboot (Crisis on Infinite Earths) or a soft one (Infinite Crisis). All I know is that Birds of Prey is rumored to be one of the books that might be changed and that there is possibility that they may use this opportunity to return Barbara Gordon, currently Oracle, back to being Batgirl, possibly leaving current Batgirl, Stephanie Brown, out in the rain. Heaven only knows what will happen to poor Cassandra Cain. That's my two DC books possibly facing unwelcome tampering.
Over in Marvel, they're cancelling Spider-Girl, leaving the Avengers: Children's Crusade mini as the only title I'll still be getting there. I'm considering maybe getting into the X-23 ongoing but 1.) I missed the first ten issues and don't know when the TPB is planning to be released, 2.) I...have very mixed feelings on Wolverine (though they usually run towards the "enough of the overrated bastard, he doesn't have to be on every superteam" end of the spectrum), so why am I allowing the potential for more Logan in my life, and 3.) I have limited shelf space in my apartment and monthly issues take up more space than graphic novels; heck, I've been considering making the jump to TPBs only...
It's like the universe is telling me, "Find a different eccentric hobby, Diana...this one might be played out at the moment."
DC comics is planning on doing this thing after this year's summer crossover, Flashpoint, where there will be changes made along the line to various titles and characters; I'm not sure whether this will be a hard reboot (Crisis on Infinite Earths) or a soft one (Infinite Crisis). All I know is that Birds of Prey is rumored to be one of the books that might be changed and that there is possibility that they may use this opportunity to return Barbara Gordon, currently Oracle, back to being Batgirl, possibly leaving current Batgirl, Stephanie Brown, out in the rain. Heaven only knows what will happen to poor Cassandra Cain. That's my two DC books possibly facing unwelcome tampering.
Over in Marvel, they're cancelling Spider-Girl, leaving the Avengers: Children's Crusade mini as the only title I'll still be getting there. I'm considering maybe getting into the X-23 ongoing but 1.) I missed the first ten issues and don't know when the TPB is planning to be released, 2.) I...have very mixed feelings on Wolverine (though they usually run towards the "enough of the overrated bastard, he doesn't have to be on every superteam" end of the spectrum), so why am I allowing the potential for more Logan in my life, and 3.) I have limited shelf space in my apartment and monthly issues take up more space than graphic novels; heck, I've been considering making the jump to TPBs only...
It's like the universe is telling me, "Find a different eccentric hobby, Diana...this one might be played out at the moment."
Life After School
I just graduated from my masters program a few weeks ago and am looking for jobs. I just got a temporary position at the place where I did my internship, which is awesome. Yeah it's a temp job and yeah it doesn't pay too much and yeah it'll be over in a few months when the person I'm sitting in for comes back home, but still...it's my first paying job. You might scorn and mock me for being as old as I am and having that be the case (and if you don't, well don't worry, I scorn and mock myself for being like this enough for all of us), but I'm...still excited.
I hope that I can find a more permanent and better-paying job after this time is finished. I don't want to be a burden.
My BFF suggested that since we've both graduated, we should take up eccentric hobbies. She's planning on taking up felting and learning the pump organ. I don't know what eccentric hobbies I'll take up. I should really get back into learning the flute, especially since I actually liked the instrument -- as opposed to piano, which made me want to scream bloody murder -- but I'm a little scared to contact my flute teacher again...especially since it's been a year and a half since I last saw her...and I still have her Christmas music book...um.
Other hobbies! Um. I've been getting back into drawing lately. I kind of suck at it, but like it all the same. Mostly I draw redesigns of superhero costumes, particularly superheroine costumes. So far I have a new Supergirl costume, a Zatanna costume (which isn't radically different than her usual costume...Zatanna just has one of those classic, practically-perfect costumes already; there's no real need for change), and costumes for Psylocke and Kwannon. I think I might want to give Kwannon's costume another try, which is sad, considering it's based on the costume that Psylocke wears all the time in current X-Men stories.
I have been considering learning to knit, but I have no idea if I will seriously pursue that.
I'm also plotting out various stories I want to write, both original and fanfiction (the fanfics are all of the Kingdom Hearts AU variety). I think the Kingdom Hearts/Dostana fusion can be started anytime now, since I think I know how I want it to start and end, and fair idea of what events I want to happen in the middle. Of the original stories...is it weird that I want to write a paranormal young adult story featuring vampires, despite the fact that I'm no big fan of vampires, especially when they appear in paranormal young adult literature (they are so BORING and so OVERRATED)? It's almost like a personal challenge to myself. Under what set of circumstances could I enjoy this set up?
Well, so far I have a Japanese girl protagonist who is the latest reincarnation of this 1800-year old vampire guy's love...and she wants none of that. She thinks Vampire Guy is a nice enough fellow and she feels bad that he keeps losing his love again and again in different ways, but seriously, she's really not into him and that's a lot of pressure to put on her. Like, seriously Vampire Guy, back it up a few steps. Also, she kinda seems like she's more interested in Vampire Guy's Vampire Twin Sister. And possibly her Witch Best Friend (but not her Supernatural Hunter Best Friend nor his Dhampir Brother, who is gay anyway, nor her Werewolf Guy Friend, who is kind of not straight either). And her Queen Bee Rival at school. And the Hunter Girl Who's Eying Her Supernatural Friends Suspiciously. And...
You know...I think I'm starting to notice a pattern here...
Um. Yeah. So there's that. Anyway. You know, between all of the above mentioned and my usual comics and book collecting, I think that all of my hobbies are eccentric.
I hope that I can find a more permanent and better-paying job after this time is finished. I don't want to be a burden.
My BFF suggested that since we've both graduated, we should take up eccentric hobbies. She's planning on taking up felting and learning the pump organ. I don't know what eccentric hobbies I'll take up. I should really get back into learning the flute, especially since I actually liked the instrument -- as opposed to piano, which made me want to scream bloody murder -- but I'm a little scared to contact my flute teacher again...especially since it's been a year and a half since I last saw her...and I still have her Christmas music book...um.
Other hobbies! Um. I've been getting back into drawing lately. I kind of suck at it, but like it all the same. Mostly I draw redesigns of superhero costumes, particularly superheroine costumes. So far I have a new Supergirl costume, a Zatanna costume (which isn't radically different than her usual costume...Zatanna just has one of those classic, practically-perfect costumes already; there's no real need for change), and costumes for Psylocke and Kwannon. I think I might want to give Kwannon's costume another try, which is sad, considering it's based on the costume that Psylocke wears all the time in current X-Men stories.
I have been considering learning to knit, but I have no idea if I will seriously pursue that.
I'm also plotting out various stories I want to write, both original and fanfiction (the fanfics are all of the Kingdom Hearts AU variety). I think the Kingdom Hearts/Dostana fusion can be started anytime now, since I think I know how I want it to start and end, and fair idea of what events I want to happen in the middle. Of the original stories...is it weird that I want to write a paranormal young adult story featuring vampires, despite the fact that I'm no big fan of vampires, especially when they appear in paranormal young adult literature (they are so BORING and so OVERRATED)? It's almost like a personal challenge to myself. Under what set of circumstances could I enjoy this set up?
Well, so far I have a Japanese girl protagonist who is the latest reincarnation of this 1800-year old vampire guy's love...and she wants none of that. She thinks Vampire Guy is a nice enough fellow and she feels bad that he keeps losing his love again and again in different ways, but seriously, she's really not into him and that's a lot of pressure to put on her. Like, seriously Vampire Guy, back it up a few steps. Also, she kinda seems like she's more interested in Vampire Guy's Vampire Twin Sister. And possibly her Witch Best Friend (but not her Supernatural Hunter Best Friend nor his Dhampir Brother, who is gay anyway, nor her Werewolf Guy Friend, who is kind of not straight either). And her Queen Bee Rival at school. And the Hunter Girl Who's Eying Her Supernatural Friends Suspiciously. And...
You know...I think I'm starting to notice a pattern here...
Um. Yeah. So there's that. Anyway. You know, between all of the above mentioned and my usual comics and book collecting, I think that all of my hobbies are eccentric.
Hello
Bizarre that I decided to create yet another blog. Because having Livejournal, Dreamwidth, Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook accounts just weren't enough. ::rolls eyes:: I already had a Blogger account, thanks to that EDLS class I was in last summer, but I didn't have to make an extra blog to go with that one.
Soooo...I'm not entirely sure what I'm hoping to accomplish with this account. The only thing I can think is...the LJ/DW/Tumblr accounts are primarily used for fandom reasons, while the Facebook account is supposed to be used for Real Life social reasons (key words: supposed to. I don't know whether it's because I don't like Facebook's layout or because the thought of so many people who know me in real life being able to find me on the internet freaks me out, but either way you cut it, I just don't like Facebook). Maybe this blog can be used for...just me. Just a place where I can ramble on end about whatever I want to ramble on about without boring what little of my LJ/DW flist I have (no friends on Tumblr) and without weirding myself out at the thought that my relatives are going to read this.
That makes sense, right?
Oh yeah, I left out the Twitter account, didn't I? Well, I have no idea why the Twitter account exists. It is mostly pointless, especially since the one friend I have on there has been gone since...last year. It's been over a year.
I miss Jen. I think it's my fault we don't talk anymore.
Um. Moving on.
Soooo...I'm not entirely sure what I'm hoping to accomplish with this account. The only thing I can think is...the LJ/DW/Tumblr accounts are primarily used for fandom reasons, while the Facebook account is supposed to be used for Real Life social reasons (key words: supposed to. I don't know whether it's because I don't like Facebook's layout or because the thought of so many people who know me in real life being able to find me on the internet freaks me out, but either way you cut it, I just don't like Facebook). Maybe this blog can be used for...just me. Just a place where I can ramble on end about whatever I want to ramble on about without boring what little of my LJ/DW flist I have (no friends on Tumblr) and without weirding myself out at the thought that my relatives are going to read this.
That makes sense, right?
Oh yeah, I left out the Twitter account, didn't I? Well, I have no idea why the Twitter account exists. It is mostly pointless, especially since the one friend I have on there has been gone since...last year. It's been over a year.
I miss Jen. I think it's my fault we don't talk anymore.
Um. Moving on.
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